Love and Understanding: Finders Keepers? Not Necessarily

binoxImagine if you can picking up the paper and seeing the front page overrun with cheerful headlines.

Or turning on the news and hearing a heartwarming story.

How bout getting a glimpse of one of those rag mags at the checkout counter and finding the cover story isn’t yet another scandalous rant about who’s screwin who.

Personally, I think it goes without saying that this hard-bitten world of ours could benefit greatly from a little more good news.

Then again, it’s probably not only the world at large that could reap the benefits of such welcomed news.

For instance, how about your world?

Y’know the one lurking just outside your door. The one staring at you through the rear view mirror as you head off to another exhausting shift of meaningless work.

That world!

Well if that interpretation sounds even vaguely accurate I’ve got some good news.

Some really good news.

Because in the celebrated world of Personal Growth and Achievement there is ongoing talk about never having to work another day in your life.

And all you gotta do is find something you love.

But ya gotta wonder, how do you find something you love?

Don’t you have to do it for a while before you can actually love it? Or even know if you like it?

Don’t you have to spend some quality time with it, maybe get to know it a little bit better?

I mean c’mon, this ain’t exactly maternal love we’re talking about here.

I’m not saying you can’t fall head over heels in love with something your first time out.

Nor am I suggesting there’s no such thing as love at first sight.

But is that love?

My wife Cathy and I are high school sweethearts, we found love, if you will, on our second date inside the Wescove Theater amid the high-speed high jinks of Smokey and the Bandit.

But was that love?

Honestly I’m not sure.

To this day I don’t think either one of us smitten young sucklings knew what the hell it was.

Yet today, some thirty years later, I think I got a pretty good idea.

As it turns out in both love and/or in finding something you love there is what’s called, “an infatuation period.”

Upon arrival it’s a mystical magical time and place; a time and place where everything is lovey dovey and/or honky dory.

Real love, however, true and/or lasting love, be it between you and someone you care very much about or between you and something you very much enjoy…well, that ain’t no mystery.

And it sure as hell ain’t magic. (Although without the proper care and attention it could very well disappear right before your very eyes)

Suffice to say that all begins with infatuation.

But the bottom line is if you’re in it for the long haul (if you’re lookin for the real thing baby) things aren’t always gonna be lovey dovey and/or honky dory.

Personal growth and achievement (continuous personal growth and achievement) like ever lasting love involves years of unwavering commitment. And the stronger that commitment the greater your chances of building a deep and loving relationship.

It was Antoine de Sainte-Exupery who said, “Only he can understand what a farm is, what a country is, who shall have sacrificed part of himself to his farm or country, fought to save it, and struggled to make it beautiful. Only then will the love of farm or country fill his heart.”

Me, I stand rootin from the rooftops for that day when you come upon that very special something in your life.

That one love (person, place, or thing) that does more than just tickle your fancy.

And I seriously hope that when it does you’ll stand by it and stick with it, at times even have to struggle through it and fight to preserve and protect it.

Because it’s then when your relationship with love and understanding will take on a whole other meaning.

It’s then, and only then, that you’ll discover love (and understanding) isn’t something you find…it’s something you do.

…something you work at.


See ya on Jan 1st. Till then, keeep it up.


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